Sarah Pippin
Sarah Pippin's Story
Worlds Apart
Because I can have security in God, I can be okay when other people let me down, because I know He never will
Garin and I were best friends in high school. Garin was every girls' best friend, you know those kind of guys? We did everything together. He had feelings for me for a long time before I realized I felt the same way. He was there through every problem I had - a very dedicated friend. We started dating our senior year of high school, and we decided to continue dating even though we went to separate colleges -me to Virginia Tech and him to Carson Newman College. I was certain that we would make it through the 4 years and get married right after graduation.
After several months of being apart, Garin started talking about this other girl named Shannon and I figured out that he had feelings for her and our relationship ended. I was devastated. Garin had always been a source of stability in my life. When he wasn't there anymore, it kind of turned my world around. I remember him coming to visit me in college after we had broken up for a friendly visit. It was so strange seeing him and feeling kind of mad/numb/hurt all at the same time. I just mostly wished he would go back early.
I realized at that point that I could never count on another human person like I could count on God. Garin had broken so much of my trust, because I thought he would never leave. After we broke up I realized that God could actually fulfill His promise to me of never leaving.
It was hard when I realized that I was alone. I realized I had been let down before by friends and even my parents. The one person I thought wouldn't do that to me had left me. The worst part was imagining this other girl that he left me for. What was she like? Was she prettier than me? What was wrong with me that she was better?
If I hadn't realized the comforting truth about God never leaving me, I think I would have constantly had a mistrust for other people. I think I may never have been able to truly trust another person like I now can trust my husband, Blair. Because I can have security in God, I can be okay when other people let me down, because I know He never will. I think I would have always felt insecure and unstable not thinking that there was anything constant to cling to.
I had been a Christian for a long time, since I was 7 year old. I always understood that I had sin in my life and that Jesus had made it possible for me to be forgiven and have a relationship with Him. I tried to live like I thought I should in high school, but I still really felt like I needed security from other people and that I was really nothing if I didn't have approval from them. When I came to Virginia Tech my freshmen year, I didn't know what would happen in my relationship with God. I guess I wanted it to become stronger, but I still really needed a lot of approval from people I met there.
I had this CD with a song on it my freshmen year called "Worlds Apart". It was basically about giving all of your life over to God, because it's safe and He loves you and knows what is best for your life - better than you do. So, I sort of prayed the song to God. Later on, after Garin and I broke up I thought about how I had prayed that song and how my world really had come apart in some ways. Then it occurred to me how God knew what He was doing by having Garin and I break up. While he was a fantastic guy, he wasn't the best guy for me. God knew that I needed to be completely secure in Him because He wanted me to be closer to Him and grow in my relationship with Him.
Then years later, he brought me a guy, who I'm now married to, that is the absolute best that God had for me. Not only that, but my relationship with God has become much stronger, and I can understand that while I might not always understand what God is doing, I can believe that it is good. That He always works with my best interest in mind.
Since that time, I obviously still try hard sometimes to find a source of stability and security in other people. I still question what God is doing in my life many times. But, the great thing, is that since all that happened with Garin I have a strong foundation to fall back on. When I get sidetracked and forget what's true about God, I can go back and remember that yes, He does love me, and yes, He is always there for me.